how to dismantle an atomic bear

16 February 2005

Spring Notes on Winter Impressions

No, I don't really know what season this is. It's February. But it was 82 degrees today.

"Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian."

The text of one of many obnoxious bumper stickers one finds on walking through the student/faculty parking lot between the Environmental Science building and what appears to be a student dorm. I have to walk through it every day. Perhaps I'll begin cataloging all the bumper stickers I run across that seem deisgned specifically to offend a particular demographic.

I haven't written an article in some time now. I rarely went more than a week or two last semester without writing one. But frankly, writing for the paper almost seems beneath me now. Actually, it always has been. It's hard not to feel that way when discussion about foreign policy on the opinion page is apparently fanned by an editorial staff that thinks Condoleeza Rice has specifically advocated war with Iran and is visiting Europe for that express purpose. God help us.

It might not have been so bad if they had had the grace to imply that they actually only suspected that Rice was trying to build support for an Iran war behind the scenes.

They didn't.

Condi is running around trying to build up support to invade Iran while we're in the middle of Iraq?

Yeah right, Condi. Not only would invading Iran stretch our already stretched military even thinner for another unnecessary war, but would continue the trend of United States meddling in the Middle East, which is what caused the Sept. 11 attacks in the first place.

Osama bin Laden, the guy who actually attacked us, said just before the U.S. elections that any country that respects the security of the Middle East doesn't need to worry about its own. Or in other words; we attacked you because you keep meddling with us. Stop and we'll stop. So why don't we quit?

Compelling stuff. 9/11 was America's fault for being mean in the Middle East and bin Laden is a rational, misunderstood individual who just wants us to leave him alone. Oh, it's all so simple!

It makes me want to write an article putting under the microscope the moral judgment of the editorial board.

Maybe I will. Disregard what I said about writing for the paper being beneath me.

After spending two months reminescing about spending two years in Nepal, the Peace Corps plan has officially been put on the backburner.

The Peace Corps is out.

Law school is in.

I took a practice LSAT recently. I've had no previous significant LSAT practice. I basically showed up and took the practice test. On one section, called "logic games," I really didn't know what I was doing. I answered correctly 7 out of 25 questions on that section.

Somehow, I scored a 155. An improvement of only 15 points would probably get me into UT law, and almost certainly into a lot of other law schools (in fact 155 is good enough for a lot of law schools). So basically, if I just study a little, I should have no trouble getting into a decent law school. Still, I would have to worry about getting three recommendations. But whatever. I can handle that.

A very long time ago when I was home-schooled, I had a friend who had an uncle who would allow this friend of mine to direct him as he drove.

The command, "go straight" was taken quite literally. Winding curves in the road would lead to driving off the roadway until my friend troubled himself to protest, "No! Stay on the road!"

I recently attended a lecture hosted by the political science department. The Right Honourable Bruce George -- a British MP, Labour Party, I think -- was lecturing on democracy in Iraq.

That was what I was led to believe until I actually got to the lecture and it was announced that the Right Honourable Bruce George, an election monitor in many countries, would be speaking about elections in general.

Tony Blair, he was not. A rather large old fellow with some remaining white hair on the backside of his head, he was actually quite difficult to understand. I understand he's from Wales. He tends to lose himself in his own content. He used no visuals or notes of any kind, and apparently no structure to his lecture.. He simply rambled from the top of his head as though the subject matter were a sailboat that could be carried wherever his fancy dictated. Or a car that need not be limited to roadways.

He discussed elections in Ukraine and Iraq only very briefly, touched on the recent elections in America and the upcoming elections in Britain.

He spent the bulk of the lecture discussing the diplomatic dynamics between America and Europe. If I were to write out his speech in written form, the entire forty-five minute talk would be a single paragraph. All of his ideas were connected. He just tended to run with them.

He seemed very upset with the Bush administration for upsetting lots of people in Europe (though he too supported the war). European-American cooperation seemed high on his list as a normative value unto itself. There was no mention of the the concrete benefits that might result from such an approach, to say nothing of the costs.

And then when his time expired, he simply found a convenient note on which to wrap up his rather lengthy diatribe as though he had planned it that way all along.

The audience was then invited to ask questions. The fiteen remaining minutes of time permitted him to answer exactly two questions.

Having not written in over a week, I was due for a long entry. I'd write more, but I have a test and a paper due next week in the two classes that I actually care about. I'm going to be very busy this next week.

02:43

08 February 2005

i thought this was funny so i posted it

When the first installment of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter book series hit the stands in 1998, it turned an elderly Tamarac man with the same name into an overnight celebrity of sorts.

Harry Potter, then 92, started getting stares from restaurant hostesses when they read his name on the seating list.

Soon, book-toting parents began knocking on his door, asking him to sign his autograph for their children. And he answered many late-night phone calls from people wanting to know whether he was the Harry Potter...

''A lot of people would get irritated by something like that, but not him. He always got a good chuckle out of it,'' Potter's daughter, Jane Poucel, 62, said Thursday from Scottsdale, Ariz.

01:53

04 February 2005

Immune System Breakdown

My immune systen held off the enemy for as long as it could. But it was overrun. And now the whole front is collapsing.

As the sun was setting late in the afternoon on 3 February, I received an urgent transmission from the immune system front to the effect that it was being overwhelmed and was in constant danger of encirclement. In view of my wreckless lack of sleep, it advised turning in for the evening: a retreat.

However, I was in no mood to tolerate such insolence just as the weekend had arrived. I intended to go over to Lynniebeth and Matt's house and party (by which I mean play Monopoly and watch Friends), and thus, had no intention of ordering a retreat. I ordered it to stand its ground and fight to the death if necessary.

Cowards. They were were overwhelmed just as they predicted. When I finally did turn in for the evening, I awoke several hours later shivering and also sweating. Oh, and I also had a headache, a soar throat, and a nose so heavily clogged that I was compelled to sleep the night breathing through my mouth.

All of my weekend plans have thus been spoiled, and as I must now plan to accomplish little work this weekend, the entire academic front for the coming week is collapsing.

Some treacherous swine will clearly have to be shot for this.

14:00

03 February 2005

Class Plan

I've just discovered something. I'm a really bright student. I know so because my poli sci professor clearly thinks so. Whenever I raise my hand, it's either to ask a very intelligent question or to give just the answer he was looking for that no one else in the class could give him.

He started off the year by calling the class's attention to the enormous amount of reading required for the course (though he clearly exaggerated -- so far, it's really not much) and encouraging his students to drop his course. He also emphasized that the 5% class participation grade was actually quite critical for students who wanted to make an "A" in the course, since he rarely assigns grades in excess of 92-93%.

My grade on the first reading review: 96%.

Dude, I rule!

This is only for one class -- Democracy & Democratization. It's not so much that the content of the course is interesting (though it certainly is given its highly relevant application to contemporary issues) as just having a really cool professor. I have another great professor who teaches WWII. I haven't connected with him yet though. I'll have to visit his office sometime and interrogate him. Still, his class is great even though he assigns so much reading I can never possibly finish it all. He taught at West Point and apparently has recently written a best-seller about Omaha Beach.

I'm also taking a poli sci course on "The Presidency." It's potentially very interesting content. However, the professor absolutely puts me to sleep. His snide remarks make his political orientation rather apparent too, and that's very annoying. So I never do the readings or pay attention in his class.

I'm taking an earth sciences course (oh, please kill me), I've yet paid attention during a lecture and have not taken the wrapping off the book. I'm starting to make a habit of showing up for lectures only long enough to sign the attendance sheet, and then quietly slipping out when the professor's back is turned.

Anyway, for Democracy & Democratization, I have to write three 10-page papers about the ongoing democratization of Afghanistan. As I leave to go home for the weekend, I'll probably have to pack several very thick books about the history of the nation and its various ethnic groups.

Also, I have to read a 500-page book on the battle of Stalingrad and write a review of it.

I'm very busy. At least in two of my classes. The other two classes can be taken care of using the crash-study method on the night preceding an exam. Otherwise though, I pay them little attention.

Also, when I get my own apartment, (whenever that is), I've decided I'll have to set up a small petting zoo in one room. I really would like to have a duck and two cats (if that combination is feasible), but also a collection of finches, fish, guinea pigs, and maybe some hampsters or mice.

I've decided I really should write another column soon just to stick it to all the anti-war pessimists in the face of the resounding success of the Iraqi elections. I'll try to come up with something over the weekend if I have time.

16:15